From Attraction to Love and Sex

When you first meet someone, you go through stages to determine if you're interested in that person. If that initial attraction is strong enough, you'll probably be interested in seeing each
other again. That desire is usually based on physical attraction, but you could decide to see each other again because of social or intellectual reasons.

Once you get past the initial attraction, you talk and spend time together to try to determine if
your lifestyles, values, and interests are in sync(synchronization or synchronize). This is the time when you will be able to see if the person you've been fantasizing (indulge in daydreaming about something dersired) about will be a good partner for you. However, you have to be careful during this phase. If love can be blind, then lust most certainly is blind. You might find yourself overlooking qualities in this potential partner that you normally wouldn't dream of standing for. So you have to open your eyes and try to be honest with yourself about how you would really see this person if you would remove the blinders of lust ( strong sexual desire and a passionate desire for some thing or chiefly theology a sensuous appetite regarder as sinful ).

Finally, once you have gotten to know each other over a period of days, weeks or months, and if the attraction is still there, you have reached the point where you determine what roles you will play in each other's lives. In other words, if that person just wants casual sex but you want marriage, then it won't work out for long. But if you both have the same roles in mind, your sexual partnering is off to a good start.


Does Love Affect Sex?

Many people will tell you that when they mix sex with love, they are experiencing the most amazing and interesting sex possible. However, there are some people who will say that wild, passionate sex happens best with a complete stranger someone they absolutely do not love. In other words,love affects sex. The presence or absence of love makes a difference. You need to learn for yourself if you need love to have amazing and interesting sex .


Think back to the beginning of a relationship you've been in (or are in now). The throes of infatuation(be infatuated with) be inspired with an intense but short-lived passion for) may be familiar to you. Maybe you had sex before you were sure you were in love.How did that affect your relationship?Was your relationship based only on sex?Or did it blossom(a flower or a mass of flowers on a tree or bush,the state or period of flowering) into love?Some people think that if a couple waits to have sex until they feel they are really in love (perhaps months or even years), then their relationship will become deeper without being based
on sex. Also, when you wait until you are in love, sex can be more intense and more meaningful.If you are in love, while you are having sex, you can look deeply into your partner's eyes and feel a deep connection with each other. Some people feel like they are practically melding(comes from meld meaning is blend,combine) together during sex when they are in love. It's not like they are just “doing it.” Sex without love may be “wham(used to express the sound of a forcible impact or the idea of a sudden and dramatic occurrence),bam(used to imitate the sound of a hard blow or convey the idea of something happening abruptly), thank you, ma'am.” But sex with love is “making love.

If you are the type of person who likes it when your partner can look into your eyes and say, “I
love you,” during sex, then you'd probably prefer sex with love. It you are the type of person
who doesn't like any of the romance of love mixed with your sex, then you don't need love to
have sex.

Of course that's not to say that when you are in love, every time you have sex has to be some
kind of mushy(a soft,wet,pulpy mass,cloying sentimentatlity,north American thick maize porridge),romantic love fest. Having sex when you're in love doesn't always mean that you're having sex to show love. Sometimes sex expresses other feelings. For example, a couple who are in love might have sex just to express their pure physical desire. They might just want to tear each other's clothes off and do it wildly without wasting time looking in each other's eyes.Or maybe they will just have sex to help them both fall asleep at night. Or maybe they will have sex based on forgiveness, like “make-up sex” after a fight, or sex for barter (such as,“You do the dishes and we can have sex later).They could have sex for hundreds of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with love. So even if you are in love, sex is not always about love.


Whether you need to be in love before you have sex, or you'd prefer to have sex without that commitment, do yourself a favor and try to find partners who feel the same so you won't end up disappointed or disappointing your partner. You have to talk about it with your potential partner in order to be sure you both want the same thing. Just be confident and casual when you bring up the topic. Say something like, “Because we are getting close, let's talk about our feelings for each other.” Then say how you feel about your partner and explain your view on the issues of sex with or without love. Then listen to your partner's response. If you both agree to the terms of the sexual relationship, then you have found a sex partner who might be right for you.