Messages about sex have been influencing you from the time you were born. Perhaps your religion told you to wait to have sex until you were married. Perhaps your parents told you to wait until you were in love. Perhaps sex education teachers told you about the dangers of sex and how you could contract AIDS and die. While the dangers of sex are true, they are only part of the story. And when it comes to all those negative messages, what you see and hear isn't always reality.
The way to unlearn the negative messages about sex is to examine where you first learned
about sex. Think about what you learned from your parents. If you saw them hugging(hold tightly against one's body) and kissing, you probably noted their affection and took away some positive messages. Maybe you were lucky enough to have parents who made it easy for you to ask them questions about sex.
But if your parents were tight-lipped(with the lips firmly closed,especially as a sign of suppressed emotion or determined reticence) about anything having to do with sex, then you might still be trying to sort out if sex is something forbidden, dirty, and not to be enjoyed.
Children learn though natural self-exploration that it feels good to touch themselves. Yet most children are taught that they should not touch their genitals(a person's external organs of reproduction) or masturbate. Some parents reprimand young children who touch themselves, so the only time they explore their bodies, if they do at all, is when they are in bed, under the covers, at night. That is a sure way for them to learn that sex is something that must be hidden. People should not feel ashamed about their sexual urges. Even if you were shamed as a child, as an adult you now need to let that go.
All of this taboo people encounter as children is reinforced when slang is used to refer to sexual body parts. Parents seldom teach them the correct names for body parts and sex acts. When
parents teach their children the correct names for other body parts (knees, elbows), they should also teach them the correct names for genitals (penis, vulva).
Besides the influence of parents, many children learn negative messages about sex from their friends. Remember laughing at that joke you didn't quite get just because everybody else was laughing? Dirty jokes make the rounds in hushed tones at most middle schools. A child who doesn't understand the joke or doesn't laugh enough usually falls victim to merciless teasing. A child also endures teasing for not being “cool” enough to tell sexual jokes that he or she has heard or use dirty words. The kid who everyone else starts to call “a prude”means (a person who is easily shocked by matters relating to sex or nudity) could begin to have bad feelings about his or her sexuality.
The pressure to be cool reaches epic proportions in high school, and teasing usually surrounds
sexual activity or lack thereof. The pressure of not doing it can also have a negative effect on
one's developing sexuality. Teenagers need to understand that sexual choices are individual.
Throughout your life, you should only have sex when and if you are totally sure it's right for
you.
What you are taught about controversial(causing or likely to cause controversy) sexual issues, such as pornography (visual material intended to stimulate sexual excitement) homosexuality(feeling or involving sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or a homosexual person) and premarital sex, affects your view of sex. If you are taught by your parents, your church, your school, or your friends that all of these things are bad, you will grow up with a negative attitude toward free sexual expression. For example, as an adult, you might enjoy looking at pornography to get a sexual thrill. But if you are told throughout your childhood that porn is wrong, then every time you reach for Playboy, you will feel a pang of guilt.Those are just a few ways that the things you learn about sex can affect you.There are many more myths about sex that you may have learned as a child that may have stayed with you as you grew up. Let's take a look at them and learn to dissolve them.
No comments:
Post a Comment